Friday, March 21, 2008

Papa's gotta brand new bag

So I recently brought my lunch bag to work on the one night a week I actually have the time to make a decent lunch/meal for work (see previous post on steak)... When I arrived at work, one of the male nurses who shall remain nameless told me my bag was gay, and offered to set me up with one of the other gay male nurses. Now, I had previously brought this bag to my ex girlfriend's apartment and been told by her female roommate who works at Prada that this bag was a "cool" bag. Perhaps that was the giveaway. I was just happy to find this vinyl bag at Trader Joe's and used it to carry my groceries home one rainy evening when paper would decompose somewhere between Manhattan and Brooklyn.
During my shift, I polled no less than 6 other males (half gay/half straight) whom I was working with, about 5 of whom said it was indeed a gay bag. I have to say in their defense, there are a lot of bright colors, however, the bag has a picture of a ship and an airplane on one side, which I will term the hetero side. However, the other side has a picture of a cock (ahem, rooster), in a car, with lots of fruits. This, fruity side, with the cock, I am terming the homo side.
I am thinking of writing a letter to Trader Joe's. Their other vinyl bag has lots of flowers on it.
I wonder what James Brown would think?

Come here sister.....
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip...
about that new breed babe
He ain't no drag
Papa's got a brand new bag

Come here mama....
and dig this crazy scene
He's not too fancy....
but his line is pretty clean
He ain't no drag.
Papa's got a brand new bag

He's doing the Jerk....
He's doing the Fly
Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy
He's doing the Monkey, the Mashed Potatoes, Jump back Jack, See you later alligator.
Come here sister
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip now but I can dig that new breed babe;
He ain't no drag
He's got a brand new bag

Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk Papa...
he's doing the Jerk
He's doing the twist ...
just like this,
He's doing the Fly ev'ry day and ev'ry night
The thing' the Boomerang.
Hey....come on Hey!
Hey.....come on Hey!
Hey....he's pu tight...out of sight...
Come on.
Hey! Hey!

-James Brown.